For many people, there is controversy about vaginal orgasm; sexologists, scientists, and doctors all disagree. However, for several decades a man named Sigmund Freud has been talking about the existence of several different types of orgasms, or at least two.
The first was related to a portion that Freud called “Immature”, a sexually inexperienced woman who used to reach orgasm quickly and easily through uncomplicated clitoral stimulation. However, it was ephemeral. On the other hand, it seems that Freud called “experienced” those women capable of reaching orgasm through a different method: penetration. Although we always link both structures, the truth is that there are independent nerve endings in each of them. Despite their proximity, it seems that different reactions can be obtained.
Not every woman can have a vaginal orgasm. However, don’t worry, under the recommendations (and with good company) you can get a particularly different experience than usual. But first things first:
Difference between Vaginal and Clitoral Orgasms
The orgasm represents the culmination of the sexual act, a climax where an enormous liberation of hormones and mediators is produced that generate a total pleasant sensation, where our muscles (and our body) relax and release tension. The necessary stimulus for this to occur can come from different places, the vagina and the clitoris being two of the most mentioned. In the case of the orgasm coming from the clitoris, it is a short and quick orgasm. Although this is the most frequent, especially considering the strong friction that can exist during pleasurable sexual intercourse, the truth is that it is not the longest lasting of all.
Even so, the clitoral orgasm can give the same feeling of climax that one seeks during sex or other related activity. Of course, this all depends on the type of stimulation used and the various techniques that work for you. On the other hand, vaginal orgasm is something that goes unnoticed in many cases. What happens is that the vagina, which has its nerve endings including the famous G spot, is usually stimulated slightly during orgasm by the clitoris, because of the proximity of the nerves. However, the orgasm that comes from this structure is different. The vagina can prolong the time and magnitude of the mediators released. This means that we would have more pleasant and long-lasting orgasms than those obtained through the clitoris. The biggest problem lies in the methods of obtaining this orgasm, which are usually specific stimulations from inside the vagina (with the fingers) or penetration.
Even so, it is necessary to note that all women have a different anatomical distribution and sensitivity, which does not always reach orgasm under the same conditions or that there is usually a difference as marked as we are mentioning.
Why Women Can’t Experience Vaginal Orgasms
There are several problems that may be behind the blockage that some women have. Many websites seem to claim that there are women who simply do not have orgasms, a quality that is genetically probable (because we are not all born equal) but certainly very low in frequency (different from what they claim).
Still, there are several reasons why it’s difficult to have a vaginal (and not a clitoral) orgasm. Among these we have:
1. Closeness and Proximity
A fundamental problem is proximity to the clitoris. Since the best way to achieve vaginal orgasm is through penetration, we must keep in mind that rubbing between bodies during sex can allow a clitoral rather than a vaginal orgasm to be achieved.
Also, the nerve endings of the clitoris pass close to those in the vagina, especially when the clitoris becomes wider (during arousal). This may give a false expectation that you are having a vaginal orgasm, when in fact you are not, you would only have the stimulation of the clitoris and would not be able to experience the actual vaginal orgasm.
2. Body and Mind
The same limitations that exist for the orgasm of the clitoris, can have the vaginal. These can be psychological, such as those caused by stress and embarrassment, or organic, such as decreased libido from various factors.
Even those who are on medication or some chronic diseases (such as diabetes) may have trouble reaching orgasm easily. Still, all women have their history and the reasons why they may have trouble reaching orgasm, whether vaginal or not, need to be studied.
Beyond all this, it is important to mention that there is always a solution. Here are some tips to improve your chances of having a vaginal orgasm:
- Be confident: Not only in yourself but in your partner. There should be no shame or embarrassment between you, this is a key to having a high level of arousal.
- Know your body: Be encouraged to explore it on your own and be prepared for when the time comes.
- Take your time: Everyone has a different rhythm. However, to have a vaginal orgasm you must take the time to stimulate it properly and reach a climax.
- Limit body rubbing: Try to keep skin-to-skin contact only and avoid contact with the clitoris. It is the only way to achieve a real vaginal orgasm.
- Changes in Penetration: learn to play with rhythms, intensity, and even depth. Diversity is the key to reaching a climax. The better the combination, the greater the stimulation on the vagina and the excitement.
- Pelvic floor exercises: This can be done with exercising like yoga or pilates or with the usage of love balls.
If you’re having a hard time orgasming, it’s definitely not that anything is wrong with you or that you’ll never be able to orgasm, it’s just that you have to give yourself the opportunity to learn and take time to explore yourself.